You are a strong
You believe in things greater than yourself and for that you will always run into others that treat you unkindly, dishonestly, and even maliciously at times.
I don't know their motives or why they behave as they do toward you. They will talk the talk of "tolerance" and yet treat you very coldly and with a rage of intolerance.
You are a very loving person, Christine, and I know I myself have treated you at times with something less than love. For that I, I'm sure you know, am sorry.
There is a disparity in the way some treat those such as you, Christine, which I have witnessed and, as I've said, of which I've even partaken.
I can only surmise, and even then with no doubt a measure of error, from where this double standard originates. For my part, I can say at times I've been unfair to you out of a kind of jealousy.
I see a happiness in you that I do not expect myself to attain.
I do not pretend, though, that it is from such feelings that the double standard to which you've been subjected that I have witnessed in the treatment of you by others, originates for all.
Some people it seems, Christine, are just not kind people. They use people and they have a capacity for sweetness and kindness in a proportionate measure to the usefulness of which they see in you; a usefulness to their own end be it good, bad, or indifferent to you.
I have found that such individuals can change quite dramatically in even a split second. I have found it true, too, that common enemies can become quite good friends should they find an individual toward whom they both feel an ill-will.
Perhaps it is in your current situation that you have crossed the path of such manipulative individuals.
There is a personality type, as I've begun to describe, that seems to feel no remorse and no regret toward tearing down and picking at the goodness of souls such as you seem to possess, Christine.
I do not know what drives their malice.
The comfort I might offer is something like this, and I apologize beforehand knowing it will fall short what you may most need at this moment ...
You are different than a lot of people, Christine, not better, not worse, just different ... and there is something about you that is both innocent and strong at the same time.
We all love innocence and we all long to be near it, much as we long to be near beauty or joy or passion or love when we meet such in a person. We all, too, yearn to be strong ... to be committed in full belief and certainty to someone or something. All of us long for a kind of innocence and a kind of strength that at once I see in you. Very few possess what you possess in character and person, Christine.
All of us, Christine, have shortcomings and are susceptible to breeds of jealousy that seem unique unto ourselves.
Sometimes, I think these jealousies and shortcomings drive us, in your case, others to treat you with the unkindness that comes toward you.
You are a gift and you are a blessing and have been to me since the first time we met.
I cannont explain or justify with certainty why the anger that is being directed at you has befallen upon you.
Telling you "this too shall pass" I'm certain offers little comfort.
Is it possible, Christine, and I know this would be difficult for you to accept, is it possible these individuals that offer you coldness and callousness - on some level - yearn for an innocence and strength that they see in you and on some level resent that you seem to have what, possibly, on some level, they fear is beyond their reach? Beyond their ability to possess again?
Please, do not misunderstand that I suggest you are better, only different, Christine.
Christine, thank you for allowing me the kindness of your confidence in writing you and may you find the comfort I know you so desperately and sincerely seek and deserve.
God bless you from your sincere friend through many challenges,
JL
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